Black Friday

Another foggy , drizzly morning. It has definitely melted the snow. But I heard some birds calling this morning. Maybe today will be the day that they find the bird feeders! I hope so. I will enjoy watching them from the kitchen. The feeders are in my back garden and I need something pretty to look at since the frost has put the plants to sleep for the winter.

I have cleaned up the kitchen from our Thanksgiving meal. Just the two of us and the day was quite lovely. I didn’t take any photos, I don’t know why but I guess it was because I wanted to be in the moment. We also each had our own struggles, as we do every holiday, sitting around the table remembering those who have passed, wishing we could hug everyone in person but can’t and praying that sometime soon we will be able to.

Technology eased the pain, I was able to see everyone on Zoom or talk to them on the phone. I sent a few texts. I didn’t feel a million miles away from everyone like I did the first Thanksgiving when we were married 35 years ago. We spent Thanksgiving just the two of us at my husbands base that he was stationed at in New Mexico. I was able to make a few phone calls to family but it was very expensive to do so and the phone bill was a huge expense each month that was based on the number of calls and long distance calls you made. So much money. Equivalent to more than what our cell phone bill and internet is today, and we made so little money back then.

Also that first Thanksgiving, I didn’t own a meat thermometer and had never cooked a turkey before. I had very little knowledge of salmonella or food poisoning and by the end of the weekend I had become an expert on the subject.

Yesterday was our first Thanksgiving just the two of us since that time and it was a lovely day with much less loneliness than our New Mexico day. The pandemic has placed several difficult choices for us and how we spent the holiday was one. However, I was surrounded by the traditions of my family, the food, the football, the love of my husband and many loving memories. And no salmonella.

Kinship Sampler passing the halfway point

Today I am listening to my Gen X music, watching for Cardinals to visit the feeder, record a podcast and get to working on my quilt. I think to change it up a bit and I am going to exercise by walking in the neighborhood because it is above freezing. It will be a good day of my Zen staycation.



  1. It sure has been a difficult year! I have had a few of those really tough moments and I must say you are handling the situation with grace and care. So glad you have so much love and support. I hope that you find peace this holiday season and that all of the chaos settles down soon! I think that we have those test of character moments more often than I would like to recount. I keep trying to keep my head up and think of grace and compassion. Just like you are. I will keep you in my prayers! Thanks for sharing!


  2. Your post summed up Thanksgiving and this time we are in beautifully. As I was stirring and waiting for the gravy to thicken (just the two of us here also) it came to mind that 2020 was like that gravy. We have been reduced/refined to the more essentials of living – does that make sense?? My grandmother would have said a “test of character.”

    I filled the bird feeders yesterday as well and looking forward to “Bird TV”. Our cats will have their noses to the window watching the feeders. As soon as the sun comes up they rush to watch. Our weather has been unseasonably warm in Kentucky and the grass is still green; Monday we might have our first snow (oh goodness, a run on toilet paper and milk). i grew up in Northern Illinois and look forward to any chance of snow.

    We are blessed to have everything we need. I have one adult child who married last year, they have decided on having no children. Our joy this year is supporting local food banks and charities and the school program that is delivering lunches to all our home schooled children this year. Home schooling and working is not something I would have easily managed.

    My husband Scott (second) has shown a remarkable side of him that I never would have guessed. He does not have close connection with his family and was “raised by wolves” (his description); does not have children of his own. Family obligations/connection does not come naturally to him. I have been divorced from my first husband for 27 years but we always maintained communication. David choose to abuse his life, body and surroundings. This year he became unable to care for himself. As I helped my son with his father; getting him out of his house (social services should have removed him years ago) and into long term care Scott has been patient and supportive. David had left a pitiful cat in his house who was afraid and near wild; after weeks of failed capture and trips to feed this cat Scott took charge and went in (think filthy, hoarder house). Cosmos was captured and with a healthy donation relocated to a no kill shelter. We’ve had non-stop, all hours phone calls from David as he has made the choice to not adjust to his new care home. Scott has never complained and helped with the appraisal to get started on selling David’s property to finance his care. This is a change, compassion and growth of character that I never would have predicted.

    David was never a spiritual person; but told me he wants to believe in God but cannot. He is afraid and thinks he has committed unforgiveable sins. Because of Covid there are no visitors allowed in his care facility. Twice a week I send him a letter blathering about nothing in particular but always include a copy from a page of a mediation book or other spiritual reading. He refuses to talk about God, says it’s too late; does ot want to talk to chaplain or minister. This weighs heavy. I know it’s between him and God; anyone have a suggestion ??

    i read your posts every week and admire your quilting and crafts. The Kinship Sampler is gorgeous. Makes me think of all the pieces/blocks of our lives that fit into one story. This week my heart was full and I needed to let out my thoughts. Thank you for all the inspiration and friendship you give without knowing most of your readers.


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