I have very little to say about my week that’s all sunshine and roses. If you want to read my diary then keep reading dear reader. Maybe you too can relate on some level, maybe not. I physically was improving a little with new meds and then I got a raging sinus and ear infection yesterday. Now today is a new day with more meds and I feel really good. I have a long weekend as Monday is Veteran’s Day. I have no plans but to heal physically and prepare for next week. I have several days to really lean into finishing up crafts, starting a new one and thinking long and hard how I want to move into 2025.

When things get tough for me, mentally, I turn to comfort in usual places. I check for wise words online, I look for beauty in the everyday miracles around me, the magic of everyday and the blessings of things in my life great and small. This has been a tough week physically as well as mentally. I think that Brene Brown’s words posted on IG articulated my sense of emotion this week and the time building up to the huge crescendo. Here are Brene’s words:

“Despair is a claustrophobic feeling. It’s the emotion that says, “Nothing will ever change.” It’s different than anger or sadness or grief. Despair is twinged with hopelessness.

People who subscribe to power-over leadership often weaponize despair. They count on people giving up on themselves, their work, and each other. I get it. I’m looking at people I know with suspicion. I’m questioning the value of my work. I’m wondering if courage, kindness, and caring for each other simply don’t matter anymore. I’m desperate for someone to blame because blame is an effective way to discharge pain and it gives us a sense of counterfeit control.

The research shows that hope is a powerful antidote to despair. What’s interesting, however, is that hope is not an emotion (C. R. Snyder). Hope is a cognitive-behavioral process. It’s about having a goal, a pathway to achieve that goal, and a sense of agency or “I can do this.”

Right now, the thing that is helping the most is micro-dosing hope. I have no access to big hope right now, however, I am asking myself how I can support the people around me. The people on my team, in my community. How can I make sure that, in the maelstrom of my emotions, I stay committed to courage, kindness, and caring for others regardless of the choices made by others? Doing the smallest next right thing is hard AF, but sometimes it’s all we’ve got.”

Brené

So I have been playing my favorite inspirational video ever Sam’s speech on repeat

I am doing ever so much better and I have decided that I am going to do a ton of creating and making and taking care of myself. Rest and then next week a new resolve and a new hope. Yes that is a Star Wars reference and I also turned to Obi Wan’s speech to the Jedi when they fell.

I am keeping it simple and doing the job at hand.

May hope find you this week and keep creating,

Vicki